Sunday, December 4, 2011

Radiant beams from thy holy face...

...with the dawn of redeeming grace
-Silent Night, Traditional Christmas Carol

Sorry for the blogging absence.  The week before Thanksgiving was mighty crappy with my mom in the hospital and me hating every moment of that experience.  I just haven't felt much like writing, save for one whiny, half-written diatribe about how much I hate hospitals and the smell of Purell hand sanitizer (PTSD anyone?!).  No need to post whiny-ness so that's still in drafts where it belongs.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for my mom and for me and for her being home for Thanksgiving and for answers and for sanity and all of the other things we've managed to hang onto.  I could not do this alone.

But even with all the support, I've been fighting crabbiness and bah-humbug-ness.  I just haven't wanted to welcome Christmas and definitely haven't much focused on the reason for the celebration.  We put up our tree, and that cheered me a bit.  There was no perfect hot chocolate-sipping, fireplace-gazing, angel-on-top moment.  There were more than a few "Be careful!  That's fragile!  Crack."  moments.  But the tree is up and pretty.  I'm trying to embrace the good enough mentality.  Perfection is boring.

We made an advent wreath (hey, it's only a week late!  Gimme a break!) from the greenery in our yard and Christmas tree trim offs.  I laughed at Jay calling it "scenery" instead of greenery, but even that didn't do much to ease the funk.  I got fun and funky snowflakes on my fingernails (Rock on, Michelle!) but the 63 degree weather still made me feel un-Christmasy.

Until tonight.

Both boys dressed in their Christmas finest for church this morning.  I mean, if you're ever going to wear a size 4T navy blazer, Christmastime is it, right?

Undecorating the tree (or is that rearranging the ornaments?)

I might cut off his toes when he outgrows the saddle oxfords.  Adorable!

 He's not keen on this photo op - every photo delays lunch by another 1/16 of a second.

What a little grownup!

I can't decide whose outfit I like better - the smocked romper or the blue blazer!

Such cuteness.  Cute boys + long naps = happier mama.  

Then tonight we headed to our church's annual Hanging of the Greens service.  Adorable kids singing and awe-inspiring music and candles.  I can't describe the emotion it brings out.  I absolutely love every moment ... but I will always remember this moment:

That, for me, was Christmas.  Forget presents.  Forget shopping.  Forget the wrangling and convincing it took to get them to wear the adorable Christmas outfits.  Forget all of it.  Christmas is right here.  I am reminded again what a miracle it is to have that little boy here with us and fully alive.

Everywhere, everywhere Christmas tonight.

(PS - Great big thanks to my dad for snapping those cellphone shots - I *love* them!  So glad mom was up for the occasion so y'all could join in the fun.)

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Re: Photo#3 - Derek has always gotten a little cranky when a meal had to be delayed. I would have thought he had outgrown it by now.