Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While you're busy making other plans,
So, the secret's out - we're gonna have another bouncing baby boy! The most wonderful news is that he seems to be healthy from the top of his head to his 10 tiny toes. Because of Jay's heart defect, this little guy has double the risk of congenital heart disease than he otherwise would have. The risk is still small, mind you, but enough that we want to test to be sure there are no heart defects or other problems to be concerned about. We'll have a fetal echocardiogram in another few weeks to get a more in-depth look at his heart. (I have a crush on Jay's cardiologist, Dr. Milazzo, so I'm stoked that he'll be doing it!)
But all looks fantastic. His aorta has a beautiful "candy cane" arch and his heart seems to have none of the kinds of problems that would send him to our good friends in the PCICU. (Not that we don't love those surgeons and docs at Duke, mind you, but we'd rather stay out of there if we can.) The only slight concern they had is that this lil' guy is already off-the-charts big. And they weren't tremendously worried about that. Me on the other hand ... I am tremendously concerned. Having delivered a 10 lb 4 oz baby the "old-fashioned" way (ahem) is absolutely, positively, most definitely something I do not want to repeat. Did you hear me docs?! Induce early, or give me a c-section, but I'm not pushing another 10 pounder!
So, back to the boy thing. I'm not gonna lie - I was hoping for a girl this time. Sorry, kiddo. I know you're gonna read this someday about 10 years from now and say "What?! You wanted me to be a girl?!" Yes, son. I am sorry to confess it to the world, but I was hoping for a daughter. And it's not just because baby girl shoes are cuter (though they are). I mean really, have you walked down the baby shoe aisle at Target lately? Not only are there twice as many girl shoes, but they have sparkles! Red sparkles and flowers and bows, oh my!
No, shoes weren't the real reason I wanted a girl. I want a girl for me. I know that's selfish, but the most special, the most influential people in my life have been women - my mom and my Appie. (To those who weren't lucky enough to know her, Appie was my mom's mother - one of the most amazing women I've ever met. We shared a relationship that is much closer than most girls and their grandmas, and I miss her every day.) My girlfriends play a hugely important role in my life, and I believe that there is a bond between women that is unique and special, and I selfishly want that for myself and my daughter.
But you know what? I never had a sister. I ended my last post with the phrase "If life doesn't give you sisters, you find them." And I am pretty sure that the same thing applies to daughters as well. If life doesn't give you daughters, you just need to look for them. Every girl needs a "bonus mom" who she can go to when she needs to talk junk about her mother. (Yes, Mom, I sometimes talk junk about you.) And I'm pretty sure that my friends would be happy to loan me their daughters to do a little shoe shopping and giggling and dressing up in feather boas for tea parties.
The truth is that there are wonderful things about boys, just like there are wonderful things about girls. Yes, I wanted one of each so that I could enjoy both. But I am thrilled that Jay and this little guy will have each other as brothers - because that's a bond that is pretty amazing too. Who knows? There may even be a third Foster child in store down the road. But if baby #3 is also a boy, I'm gonna trust that I was just meant to have boys. (I don't think I could risk being any more outnumbered than that!)
And really - I'm pretty sure I'll never again have to take out the trash or mow the lawn... Just start calling me "The Queen."