Sunday, September 19, 2010

And if the world starts getting you down...

There's room enough for two
Up on the roof (up on the roof).
--The Drifters, "Up on the Roof"

So through this ordeal, Jen and I have often wondered what Jay's view of it was. He made it pretty clear the last couple weeks how he felt about things. Playroom? Good. Hot dogs? Great. Medicine? Only if I have to. Phlebotomists? Not them again! In other words, he returned to being a pretty normal two year old who had spent way too much time in the hospital.

What we really wondered was if he had any recollection of his arrest, being on ECMO, and being on the ventilator. We were pretty sure he wouldn't since he was getting enough morphine and midazolam every 4 hours to lay me out for days. But we still wondered did he dream, did he see the bright light at the end of the tunnel, or did he talk about tools with his namesake Pappaw Jay and his Papa Perry?

At one point in the hospital, we were discussing that he had been asleep for a long time. We asked if he had any dreams. He didn't really have much too say, and certainly didn't shed any light on it for us. So we let it go.

Fast forward to this weekend. We were saying our prayers before bed which usually consist of Jay thanking God for "all my people" and for whatever random object he spies next ("Thank you God for my bed, thank you for the ceiling." You get the idea). After his prayer on Friday night, he asked me, "Where does God live?"

"Uhh...he's kind of...everywhere" was the best I could do on short notice. Thinking quickly to something we learned from our favorite children's minister LL, I asked him, "Where do you think God lives?"

He replied with the less theological, but much more obvious answer, "At his house." Then I got, "Daddy, where is God's house?" I considered the sky or heaven, but went with "Church," which seemed to be in line with where he was going. Next up on the wheel of two year old theological questions was, "Can I go see God?" I was thinking, "Jay you have come closer to shaking his hand than you may ever know," but I figured I shouldn't go there, so I said (ambiguously), "Yeah, someday."

You know where my mind was going, so I had to ask, "Have you ever seen God before?" Surprisingly, he responded, "Yeah." Intrigued, I asked, "Where?"

Wait for it.

Any preachers out there, this is going to be your next sermon.

You know from the mouths of babes, and all that.

His response...

"On our roof!" He got really excited and then added, "I helped him down, and he gave me a big hug!" Either he's got a great imagination and doesn't remember anything about the time he was unconscious or it really was a lot of fun hanging out with God Almighty "Up on the Roof." Either way, I'll sleep better at night.


Joye said...

This blog has given me straight up chills over the past few days. First the miracle post, now this one. I've been absent from the blog-world over the past week or so, so I'm a little behind on congratulating y'all on being back in NC!!

In the words of Ty Pennington himself: "Welcome home, Foster family. Welcome home."

So ... play date soon?! :)

Libby Barnes said...

Derek, what incredible blogs you and Jen have written in the last two days. The only way to describe my response is one of awe -
of the whole situation;
of the strength you two displayed;
of your openness even in the tough times;
of the expertise and intense dedication of the medical staff;
of the ability of Jay's little body to endure so much;
of his being Jay again, and
of the goodness of a God who was there all the time - especially up on the roof with Jay!

Many thanks for sharing your very personal journey with the rest of us. We have been touched immensely by it - as the words of the Baby Dedication service say, "for you belong to all of us."

Archie Gupton said...

Derek & Jen,
You should know how your efforts with the words, and songs you have drawn 'strangers' to you. As I don't have your email, I copy to LaLa request and communications to throw a wide net, to Chistians friends at First Presbyterian, the softball team who know you from these past couple of seasons and to 2 other continents. Your insights in these last two writings, are so clear where your values are. Thanks for sharing...Will you print these for Jay to read some time? He will learn alot about his parents!
Peace, Blessings, Joy & Love from a wide range...

Anonymous said...

You take my breath away with what you have shared on the blog! Amen to comment #2 from Libby Barnes!
This song and moving excerpt from Passion of The Christ has been in my mind so much since you posted the photo of holding Jay for the first moving to all of us parents young or old. I am sure you must have seen it or at least heard the song.
Praising God for His faithfullness and love!
Love the song Up On The Roof too...I can see The Lord embracing little sweet Jay
What a blessing that special boy is to your family but to so many people touched by this experience he has had...what a pupose God has planned for this little child...I am amazed!


Anonymous said...

Once again, you have brought me to tears which, with these McLean genes, is pretty easy I admit!! But....I can't wait to see what God has in store for this little guy!! Love, AJ

Anonymous said...

As usual, I am crying at the blog. I must stop reading this unless I have nowhere to be since my mascara is always running down my face. I must have my mom's genes. I can't wait to see little Miracle Boy in person in a few weeks.

Anonymous said...

Ya'll have touched my heart and the hearts of so many others with this blog and sharing your family with us. Thank you so very much! God is so Good!!