Thursday, August 12, 2010

Can you feel the love tonight...

...it is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
that we got this far
-Elton John, Can You Feel the Love Tonight

I am in awe. I am absolutely overwhelmed the outpouring of love and support you all have shown through comments left on this site, facebook, email, phone calls. I have been teary all day (umm, understatement of the decade), but when I realized there were nearly 50 messages here, I just couldn't stop the waterworks. Thank you.

Nearly every one of you said you were praying for us - and it's a darn good thing because my prayers have been pretty pitiful lately. I can't get past "Dear God - Help us! Help Jay!" I must have said those words a million times today. I truly just don't know how to pray right now. But I trust that God knows what I need when I don't know the words to ask, and that the words y'all are offering up for us, the positive thoughts you're sending this way are making a difference. I know that we wouldn't be holding it together at all without your love.

All the docs keep saying that it's been a good day. I guess they have a different standard for "good" than we do, but Jay has been very stable and all his vital signs are steady. And that is good. He's heavily sedated and has not opened his eyes. But he is responsive to touch ... sometimes too much so. He's very sensitive, and even just rubbing on his hand can make his blood pressure drop below the range the docs want to see, so we're trying to "look with our eyes." (That's totally the kind of thing I'd tell him when he tries to touch breakables that are in his reach!) His coloring is good, and he's making loads of pee, so his kidneys are working well. But it is VERY hard to look at him with all the lines and tubes coming out. I started to count, but decided that was not in my best interest.

Tonight Derek and I are staying in one of the Ronald McDonald House sleep rooms on the floor. It's just a tiny room with a bed, but it is close enough to be able to get to his bedside in a minute, but far enough away that we don't have to hear the unending "beep beep" of the monitor. (Heart moms, you can hear it now, can't ya?!)

There's not much news about how he's doing - truly, he's just resting and giving his heart a chance to recover from a big surgery and a really traumatic night last night. We covet your prayers for his complete healing, and for our peace in the midst of chaos. Thank you for caring about our journey.

34 comments:

Mindy Marshall said...

You're exactly right . . . the Lord knows what you need even when you don't have the words to express it. He's there with you ALL the time - even when it may not seem like it.

Thank you for taking the time to update us and share your thoughts & feelings.

Give Jay an air kiss from his Aunt Mimi.

Lifting you up in love & prayer,
Mindy

Amy Osgood said...

I am so glad to hear Jay has been stable today. I have been checking for an update all day and praying all day as well. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am sending love, good thoughts and prayers your way.

Anonymous said...

I will continue to lift yall up in prayer. Please let us know what other needs yall may have, besides prayer! From your Rex nurse-Vickies daughter---

Julie

Jamie J said...

I just taught a yoga class and asked the students to dedicate their yoga practice to Jay. Figured it was all I could do from out here. But hopefully the extra 20 people sending love helped a little. I wish I could be there with you all but please know Jeff and I are both there in spirit and have everyone we know praying for you. LOVE LOVE LOVE you guys.

Terry said...

We have never met a family that is strong as yours...together you all will get Jay through this...

Thinking about you...

Cheryl & Terry Burns

Sarah Schroeder said...

I have been thinking of you and Jay and your family all day today, sending a million healing vibes your way. Thank you for the update, you are in our thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

We're thinking about you and praying for Jay and the rest of your family often.

Chris & Dave Mowbray

Jeannette said...

Like you, I can't stop the tears today but "this too shall pass" = he is such a brave, strong little guy - and we should be too. LYTB - AJ

Anonymous said...

Derek and Jen,

You have been in my thoughts and prayers all day today. Know how much your FBC family is praying for you and wishing we could be physically present with you during this difficult time. Know that the 4 of you are loved much!

Mary Alice Seals

Emily Erin said...

Jen, Derek, Luke & Jay
I am praying hard (as are the folks at daycare who all asked and promised to send up prayers) for Jay's continued healing. I hope that you are able to get some rest tonight and that you continue to have what the doctor's call good days. Sending love, healing energy and all the strength I've got. With God, all things are possible.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen,

We went to middle school together and grew up in Quail Hollow together. I'm friends with Brandi on Facebook and she posted your blog. I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I'm amazed at how well you are handling it. I pray that you're little boy will be up and about very soon! He is adorable and you're whole family is very brave. Hoping tomorrow is a good day!

Aileen (Duffy) Busi

Lisa said...

Thanks for updating us all. I have been praying and checking your blog for news all day. I wish there was something more direct we could do for you all also, but we will keep praying and asking others to join us. We are so glad he had a "good" day and pray that tomorrow is a great day.

Ginger said...

I have been thinking about you guys all day, and checking the blog. I know his current condition isn't your definition of "good," but I'm so glad he's at least doing better today than yesterday. Small, good steps. Much love to you guys.

Anonymous said...

Jen,

You and your family are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. It sounds like today was much better than yesterday, and sometimes that is the best news anyone could have and all we can ask at a particular moment. Let's all hope that tomorrow will be an even better day. Please know that we are sending positive thoughts to your precious little Jay. Stay strong, but remember to be kind to yourself and take care.

Caroline McCullen

Ann Lawrance said...

Here's hoping and praying your entire family has a peace-filled night's rest.
I love you all,
Annie

Anonymous said...

Thanks for updating us with the blog Jen - I hope Jay keeps fighting - he sure has alot of folks praying for him. I can't imagine what you guys are going through right now. I'll be hoping and praying he continues to improve.

Geof Smith

mobley909 said...

Jen,
We are keeping you constantly in our thoughts and prayers! Praying that God's healing hand will touch Jay little heart and make it accept that new valve. Love you all. Peggy Mobley

Anonymous said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers!! We are also asking all of our prayer warrior friends to pray for Jay and you. So glad to hear today was better! The Osterkamps

Jennifer Bellizzi said...

Tonight the Bellizzi boys prayed for Baby Jay. Sam pointed out the sticker I wore at Rex the day after Jay was born and headed to Duke. He still has it stuck to his dresser. I was reminded of that night and how much strength the Foster's demonstrated...Jen, Derek AND especially the Jayster. I know in my heart that Jay is a fighter and will wow all the doctors with his speedy recovery.
TOJ prayed, too.
I love you all.

Sush said...

Dear Jen, Derek, Jay, Luke, Laura, Mike, Matt, Jane,
Love to you all. May tonight give you rest and you all continue to heal.

'Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.'

Sending all of the above your way.

Hugs, prayers and kisses to all,
Susie

Anonymous said...

you guys are constantly on my mind. i miss you guys so much!

thanksgiving could not come any sooner.

LOVE,
aunt kelsey (:

Amanda Grace said...

We just got to a computer for the first time in 2 days to see the news. We are praying hard tonight for you guys! We are so sorry about this and your updates bring that familiar sickness to our stomachs. Hold onto each other and to the Lord--let your voices to Jay be whispered in his ears so that he can feel your closeness. And, make sure he has his little cow lovey, too!

Anonymous said...

Please know Jay and your family are in our constant thoughts and prayers.

Ryan & Christine Craig

Gabby said...

I have never been one who quotes Scripture much, but I have always found comfort in this passage when I find my prayers coming up short in eloquence, but long on pain: "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness: for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words" (Romans 8:26).

God hears you. And grace is everywhere. I am glad that you are seeing glimpses of God's work in the world through the simple actions of the very many people who love you and who are caring for you and your baby boy.

Michelle said...

Jen,

Had a strong feeling of the need to pray - so here I am sending wishes for strength, health, peace and, of course, strong hearts!

-Michelle

Anna said...

We are praying for all of you as Jay's heart grows stronger and you work hard to stay strong for him.

Anna and Russell Norris (FBC)

Anonymous said...

All of you are in our hearts and prayers. It is wonderful to hear Jay is stable. His mother and father's presence and gentle words nearby will comfort him in this time of need.

Roseanna Zibaie
Undergraduate Admissions

Cara Lynn said...

We're thankful for the good day and praying for better.
I've had co-workers stopping by already this morning asking about Jay. They're joining me in prayers for all of you.
Take care (and I really mean that!!)
Cara Lynn

Anonymous said...

I understand how you feel about not being able to comfort Jay. When my granddaughter had her Chiari surgery, we couldn’t touch her for several days except to help her sit up or change position. She was in and out of sleep, but she could tell us “Don’t touch me, it shakes the bed and hurts my head” in a quivering voice. And all you want to do is hold and comfort them.

God understands what is in your heart when you can’t find the words. The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”
Footprints in the Sand

We will all keep praying hard for Jay and all his family

Debbie Gilland

wayne said...

Fosters,
We commit to praying for you as you continue down this journey. We have our Sunday School class, people at work, friends and family praying for Jay's heart to heal and for his family as well! We love you guys!!!

Bethany

Anonymous said...

Jen: Your friend Gabby and I are of like mind:
Romans 8:26 is exactly what came to my mind when I read that you don't know how to pray just now. The Lord knows your needs, so just keep on "praying" as you can. And we will, too.

Barbara Huggins, FBC

Anonymous said...

We continue to be with you in spirit. Our thoughts and prayers are with Jay and the rest of your family. We hope he continues to rest well and heal quickly. Thank you so much for taking the time to update everyone while you are in the midst of the storm.

Sean and Cindy Toomey FBC

Jill Green said...

Jen, I'm praying for your family and Jay, and so many people here in Hampton are asking about and praying for Jay. We've got him in our hearts!

Please give your mom a HUGE hug for me :)
Love,
Jill

Anonymous said...

I am one of those unknown faces to you who heard about Jay's struggles through a church friend who works with your mom at the college. Isn't it amazing and cool to have people praying for you and your family? To know that when we can't find the words to pray that the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf and God allows friends and strangers to petition on your behalf. I love your posted pictures as it makes it easy to recall the sweet faces I am praying for. I pray for the miracle of healing as well as for peace and comfort for all. May the Lord richly bless you. Dora (Cary, NC)