Heartache tonight...

Things did not go well last night after Jay's surgery. He was doing much better when I left around 10, but a few hours later, his heart began to fail. I can't even believe I'm writing these words.

They did CPR on him for over an hour, and then did a surgical procedure in the ICU to put him on ECMO, which is a heart-lung bypass machine. ECMO was described to me as "crutches" for your heart - it does the work of pumping blood through the body so that the heart can heal. His heart is beating again on its own, but it is not strong enough to pump blood through his body. They hope to begin weaning him from it in a few days, but they have told us to focus on what happens in the next hours, not days.

He's now in the cath lab where they are creating a small hole between the upper chambers of his heart. That will take additional pressure off the left ventricle which is currently so weak.

He's on major blood thinners, so bleeding is a significant risk - from the tubes and lines for IV, cath insertion, and ECMO canulas, but also a major risk of bleeding in the brain (stroke).

Derek was with him when he went into cardiac arrest, and he called me to come to the hospital immediately. The entire cardiac staff was around his bedside - I've never been through an experience more terrifying or heartbreaking. We were able to be with him for part of the night between the many procedures and tests. He is heavily sedated and I'm told he will not remember any of what happened. We talked to him and sang to him, praying our voices would bring him some comfort. One of the docs even let him take his cow lovey to the cath lab.

Please pray for him. Please pray for us. We are scared beyond words.