They come to you and me
In our darkest hour
Show us how to live
Teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love
Alabama, "Angels Among Us"
I don't pretend to understand angels. But I do know one, and I know that she is always ALWAYS there when you need her. This angel surprised us with a visit yesterday. (And if anyone else is considering a surprise trip to Philly, y'all had best let me know, 'k? I've filled my surprise quota!) LL is the children's minister at our church, but she is so much more than that to us. She is a friend, a listening ear, and the most genuine person that I know. Jay adores her, even more now that she gave him a whole package of silly bands shaped like - what else? - TOOLS! All of us who are cheering him on here are wearing silly bands that he picked out for us. (Mine is a screwdriver.)
LL's time here was short, but she was able to spend some really special time with each of us and was a great support not only to me and Derek but also to our parents as well. She got a bit of snuggle time with Luke, had a nice chat with Jane at breakfast, a good talk with my Dad on the way back to the airport. She told us all about what had been happening at church, which was a wonderful distraction for me. There are so many of our FBC friends who are praying for Jay and for our family - it is just amazing. She brought the love of many in our church family with her, and I could not be more grateful.
But I have to say ... I've felt the same twinge of sadness after both of my surprise visits. Even if these wonderful friends stayed for a month, I would cry when they left. They give me such a lift, and I can't help but feel a little down as I fall back to the reality of this place. As I was walking out to the car this afternoon, I kept thinking "It sucks that I know this place so well! It sucks that I know exactly where the forks are in the cafeteria! It sucks that I know which lane to be in to avoid traffic on the interstate! The fact that we're still here with no end in sight just sucks!"
I know that I need to remain positive, but tonight I'm just feeling a little down. I am so incredibly grateful for your notes ... e-hugs, paper cards, phone calls, and real, live, in-person love from family and friends. But I still wish we didn't need them.